Fucking Aarti

." Someday."He nodded. "Someday."From the enchanted look on Sandra's face, Richard had a feeling he was being good, so far.Not long after finishing the last of the wine, Richard could feel his mouth again. The heat from the dish dissipated surprisingly quickly.As Sandra and Emily were figuring the bill, a rumble shook the restaurant slightly."What was that?" Sandra asked."Sounded like thunder," Richard said.Within a few seconds, it began to rain."Uh-oh." Anyone have an umbrella?" Emily asked."Maybe it will pass quickly," Richard said.It did not. After twenty minutes, the rain was still steady."I guess we're getting wet tonight," Richard said, as they stood in the foyer watching the rain.Emily gave him a look. "Is that all you've been thinking about this whole time?" What? Hey, that's not what I meant!" What do you think?" Emily asked Sandra."Cab?" I don't care." Me neither," Sandra said. I'm feeling a little daring, tonight, she thought."Let's go then," Emily said, pushing the door. Itfelt so so good and smooth and sexy against my skin. I felt the weightof my mother's pack of cigarettes and lighter as they hung in the pocketof the house coat. I pulled it out and watched myself holding it in themirror.I remember feeling so much anticipation and fear and shame as my youngfingers pulled a slim white cigarette from the pack and held it cocked bymy cheek in a feminine salute. What was I doing? What was I thinking?Standing there in my mother's night clothes, masquerading as a woman andpretending to smoke like one. What right did I have to be more than Iwas? And why did it feel like more? What was wrong with being a boy andgrowing up to be a man like my father?I thought about my father and wondered what it really meant to be a manlike my dad. My dad is a great guy but my mother was the head of ourhousehold and we respected her rule. She was the sophisticated bad-asswho smoked the cigarettes in our family. She was the one who made theimportant decisions. She.
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